To the family of Tamara Shaikh, I wish to extend my most heart-felt sympathies for your great loss and tell you that my prayers are with you in this time of your great sorrow. I know how much you suffer, because I too have lost a nephew to murder. He was just 15 when he was shot by a jealous ex-boyfriend of the girl he was dating. This is an attempt to tell the other side of why your family member died the other people who did not wield the knife but are as guilty for her death as he is.
They are the judges who give light sentences for abuse of women; they are the politicians who refuse to pass stronger abuse laws; they are the defense attorneys that encourage the abusers to lie instead of encouraging them to seek professional help; they are the crown prosecutors who seek to make deals instead of going to trial; they are the police who refuse to act until a woman is killed. They are the people who control the revolving door of Canadian justice, which is failing to keep its citizens safe. They are as guilty as he is, and they will never go to jail for their crime and will never have to pay one penny in restitution for wrongful death. I think this is wrong and so I speak out and hope that justice does not stop at Tommy Kane, but that people like you and I can use our loss and tragedy to see that this does not happen to anyone else. We can accomplish this by bringing who should have been his co-defendants out into the light of day and exposing them for the frauds and hypocrites that they are and maybe get them to do their jobs.
Former NFL football and CFL football player Tommy Kane was headed for this fall for a long time and I believe all of the people suffering in this tragedy were let down by a system that could have stopped this tragedy from happening when his temper got him into trouble years before this senseless horrific murder of his then estranged wife and mother of his children, Tamara Shaikh.
Tommy Kane played for the NFL’s Seattle Seahawks between 1988 and 1992. He finished his football career in the CFL, playing five games for the Toronto Argonauts in 1994. When their mother was brutally killed the four children — a girl and three boys — ranged in age from three to nine years old.
The legal system in Canada that turns a blind eye to the abuse of women until they are either maimed or murdered should hold themselves to blame for the unfortunate death of Tamara Shaikh. They as well should have been sued for not doing their job and turning a deaf ear to women’s groups who have been pleading for action before the death and getting the run around.
We all know that sending Tommy Kane to jail and awarding wrongful death damage does not give the children back a mother and does nothing to quell the sense of loss of the grieving family and does nothing to help the sister Ava Shaikh to cope with the brutal death of her sister as she stated after the verdict. It is time for judges and politicians to stop grandstanding after someone is killed and start making laws that will aid in the prevention of such senseless deaths.
I know of another young man from my old neighborhood that murdered his wife after taking drugs and went to jail for it, but you will find nothing about it in the news because neither of them was famous, so who cares is the attitude of the media. Her family will not be getting any money for wrongful death. There are cases to countless to name that happen everyday.
One was when my daughter was assaulted in public by her husband and he will not doing a day in jail in fact the case was dismissed. That’s correct; the judge dismissed the case even though several witnesses testified in court to seeing him assault her. The crown said they lost the security video proving that the assault took place and that they saw him as no further threat. My daughter was made to look like a fool and he was taught that he could hit her, or any other woman he chose to and probably get away with it. Bravo Canadian justice system on a job well done.
Let me say that I do not think that there can be any excuse for the taking of an innocent life. Tommy was wrong and is now paying for it in jail. Tommy Kane will have to live with the memory of killing the mother of his children a woman he still loved. He will have to live with the hurt and pain that he caused the families on both sides, especially the horror his kids had to deal with growing up without their mother because she was murdered and without their father, because he was in jail for murdering her. I feel horrible for the family of the murdered woman and I am in no way trying to minimize the guilt of Tommy Kane for committing the murder, the hideousness and senselessness of the crime, or the loss of all parties affected by her murder, I just think that the failure of the politicians, the legal system and the police to do their jobs in this case should have earned them time in a cell next to his and paying damages to his children and the family of Tamara as well.
Tommy and his family lived on my street for a short time and in my old neighborhood. Tommy’s mother and uncles were all close friends of my mother and my family. I have been friends with his sisters Karen and Brenda since childhood and we are still close. I can not imagine what it must have been like for his mother to be in the house during this, or his family to have gone through this with him. Tommy’s family are good people and I know that they felt terrible for his children and have expressed their deepest regrets and sympathies to the family of his then estranged wife Tamara Shaikh. This was not the little boy that I knew. This was a man who had let drugs and depression take over his life and for whom help from the system would come too late and too late meant a person would die.
Having said this I must say that his family and friends must stand by him and try to look beyond this tragedy and give him something to live for and a safe harbor from the stormy times that are ahead for this young man; a man once considered a neighborhood hero, now considered just a hood. I do not know what is to become of him, or if some sort of normalcy will ever come back into his life, but he must try to find that place and everyone must try to let him.
Tommy Kane was a victim too. Tommy Kane was a victim of a society that does little to protect women from abusive men and does nothing to ensure that they get the help they need. This was not the first time Tommy had hit a woman it was just the time that the police and the courts had no choice but to do something about it. Maybe if they had done their job the first time around this young lady would still be alive today and her children and family would not be suffering now with her loss of life.
Football used Tommy and then spit him out when he got injured leaving him bitter, and depressed. Yes, he got a settlement, but not without fighting for it and fighting for your money costs and often the fights leaves the athlete feeling betrayed and wanting to strike out at something, or someone. If he cannot vent in the game the athlete vents elsewhere and without proper professional help ends up where Tommy Kane is for one crime or another.
The money is nice for these athletes, but they are often mishandled, misrepresented and flat-out robbed. The human leaches cling to them sucking them dry and are a constant irritant like biting gnats, or mosquitoes. I say to all the afore-mentioned, that you are as guilty as he is for the death of this young lady. When they must leave the sport, they love they are often depressed and at a loss for what to do with their lives. They miss the attention, the adulation and the roar of the crowd. This often has them looking for what they need in the wrong places. Hookers, drugs, and the party life style often lead to the break up of their marriages resulting in a further drop into depression and paranoia. Tommy Kane was looking for love in all the wrong places and like all who do drugs he was headed for the big fall. You that used him and sold him drugs and did them with him know who you are and so do I. You all probably attended the funeral thinking yourself not guilty, but you are so wrong. When you look in Tamara’s children’s faces and her sister’s face think of your part in this tragedy and hang your heads low and know you are not without guilt.
I weep inside for the loss of a life that could have been so much; the young woman who had so much to live for so much to give. I weep inside for the children who will no longer have the love or support of their mother as they grow up and go through life’s trials and tribulations. I also weep inside for Tommy Kane who will one day have to face his children, family and friends and those who wish him ill; the future for Tommy Kane will not be an easy one. I weep inside for all that could have been and will now never be because of alcohol and drugs and the violence that they cause; a government, a legal system and the police that are unable and unwilling to do their jobs.