My oldest grandchild is a 15-year-old girl who although she is not the biological offspring of this man has known no other father since birth; in fact he was in the room when she was born. All through this 6 years of hell he promised her adoption if she said he was a good dad and did not mention the licks he gave her brother, or the arguments between him and mom. Never having known her real father all she wanted most in the world was to have his name and so she bit and swallowed the hook ,line and the sinker, making my daughter look like a liar. My daughter was granted sole custody of my granddaughter, with visitation every other weekend going to the father. Two months after the finalization of the divorce he kicked her out of his house and told her never to return. You see he did not need her anymore. My granddaughter was of no further use to him in his divorce war so he broke her heart and sent her packing. (collateral damage)
My 2ND grandchild is a boy and he is 12 and is the little guy who at 3 was getting licks which the court deemed in keeping with his father’s cultural back round and okay as long as it did not get out of hand. He suffers from Attention Deficit Disorder (also known as ADD) and Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder and he is dad’s favorite and first-born. This little guy was bribed with having his own room if he would say he wanted to live with his dad; told that he would never again be hit by his dad if he said his dad never hit him; and that if he did not do this his dad would be going to jail for a long time and when he got out he would not talk to his son ever. Faced with this my grandson crumbled and did what his father asked of him, making my daughter look like a liar. The father got sole custody of my grandson with every other weekend visitation granted to my daughter. My grandson got his room, is encouraged not to go to his visitation with his mom and to act out if she forces her right to have him. There have been reports of him being dragged down the stairs if he does not move quick enough and the licks have started again, but no one can be sure, or prove it. The courts do not believe his mother and say the children said he was a great dad. There are no follow ups after the divorce by all of these experts who with their blessing these children are given to these abusive parents to see if all is well; not even if the cases where abuse was an issue. My grandson unfortunately in the eyes of the court, is no longer their problem.(collateral damage )
Now my youngest grandchild is a 5-year-old little boy who was conceived on a weak moment when the divorcing couple tried to reconcile. This little guy has never known a time of love between his parents, has never seen a time when they were not arguing; has never seen them happy. The court in its infinite stupidity gave them joint custody of this child on a weekly basis. He spends a week with one parent and then goes to the other for a week. He has no room of his own and will be living out of a suitcase until he is 18 years old. All he wants to know is why nobody wants him all of the time. Now that his sister has been kicked out of his father’s house and the brother does not come often to the mother’s house the three children are very rarely in the same place at the same time and he misses that terribly. The courts have said too bad that is just the way it worked out for him. (Collateral damage)
The lawyers encourage the fight, because it generates money for them. The judges are bored and look on women as willing to do or say anything to punish the cheating spouse. The judges have also adopted the ideology that just because he beats his wife does not prove that he is unfit to be a father and so in many cases the abuser wins custody and once the divorce is final no one gives a damn what happens to the kids they are collateral damage.