Lawyers and judges have created a system purely for profit which encourages divorce to become as nasty and as protracted as possible. The totally insane see no evil, speak no evil and hear no evil way divorce is dealt with by the politicians, all levels of Canadian government and the higher courts allows for no change and the crap continues, children go without and lawyers take the money and run. after the case is over n one goes back to evaluate what has happened as a result of the decisions that are being handed down and how what is the impact on the children the families or the community. the system has made its money and just doesn’t care.
The nightmare begins the moment you get a lawyer and everything that comes after. No matter what your intentions were when you separated, or how much you wanted things to be fair and as amicable as possible the divorce system will not allow this to happen. There is simply no money in a friendly divorce and your lawyers will not allow this to happen and the judges could careless. They will demand that you make hurtful detailed statements about your soon to be ex-spouse. The detailed accusatory hate mail called a factum, get the war of words started and the delays going while you answer every detail of your spouses allegations and make some new ones of your own in your responses to their allegations.
If by your bad luck you have children the lawyers will jump at every opportunity to twist and turn and convince you to go for all you can get and to deny the other party their parental rights. If there is one issue that will drag the divorce into 6 years, or more they know it is custody. The lawyers will lie, have coffee together and lie some more to manipulate the system and take your money. All the money that could have and should have gone to the raising of your children, or child support is now going to a lawyer who tells the court that you are in no position to pay child support for your kids. This is what happened to my daughter, who while she had sole custody could not get a dime in child support, while her husband paid off an expensive lawyer. Every judge in the case and there were many thought that this situation was fine and that he was doing the right thing to hire an expensive lawyer and allow his children to go without while the case drug on.
The character and behavior of your mate, what caused the divorce whether cheating, abuse does not factor into the divorce. The court is not interested who is responsible for the break up, or whether your husband, or wife was being physically, or mentally abusive to you and your spouse, they are only concerned with what is in the law. I know because my daughters ex-husband was caught cheating which caused the breakup ans was caught cheating again during a reconciliation attempt and her lawyer advised her that the court did not care. Her husband beat her during the divorce in front of witnesses in a children’s hospital for disturbing his weekend with his lover, when she demanded that he bring the youngest childs medicare card which he had neglected to put in the children’s bags. The little guy was being treated at the hospital and without the card my daughter would have had to fork out $400 for the visit.
The judges all seemed to agree that spousal abuse during the divorce is normal behavior and is to be expected with emotions running so high and therefore my daughter probably could have avoided it and should try to limit her time spent around her husband and try not to put herself in this type of situation . Every judge said that beating his wife and children was not important to his seeking custody and just because he beat them that did not mean that he could not be a good father. They agreed that even though he was born and raised in Canada that his West Indian heritage was to blame for his abusive behavior and advised him to seek anger management. The court further concluded that just because he cheated, threw her down a flight of stairs and was mentally and verbally abusive, did not give her the right to flee the family home thereby denying her husband access to the children.
Every lawyer my daughter had taken every dime she had and conspired with the her husbands attorney to keep the case going and dropped her when her money ran out. When husband’s mother ran out of money and could not borrow any more money on her house the case was quickly settled. The court forced the parents to give the children their own lawyers which they were responsible to pay for as well. The children’s lawyer was only interested in who the children wanted to live with and nothing else. The children’s lawyer did not care who was the better parent, if the children were being taken care of properly, wether or not the allegations of child abuse were true or not; all they wanted to know is where the children wanted to live.
All three lawyers stood laughing in the halls calling them both names and checking each others court calendars. My daughters lawyer screamed at her when she demanded that they stop delaying and get the case over with. Her lawyer routinely allowed her to be forced into court to answer allegations only to be postponed by the same lawyer who forced her to miss work which eventually making her lose her job. No child support and lost of wages and eventually job, because she was being dragged into court by a lunatic husband over 4 times a month, only to be sent home without even going before a judge and all the judges would say is that he is with in his rights and is perfectly legal and you have to show up just in case in does come before the court. When my daughter asked that the case be brought to an end after 5 years and suggested that her husbands lawyer was partially responsible for dragging the divorce unnecessarily to get money and was acting unprofessional in her treatment of the divorce, her lawyer became furious and told her that she could and should not talk about a lawyer like that and if she continued he would drop her as a client.
With the strain of the push and pull the kids and her were exhausted and she did not pursue the issue and instead tried to get the divorce completed. Now after 6 years of this they each got total custody of one child and joint custody of then youngest, who now never see his brother and sister together very often and misses this terribly. So I ask you what was it all about?
In conclusion the court the government could careless about you, your children, or your soon to be ex-spouse. Divorce is big business and whether or not it is your best interest your case will be dragged out and you will not get out untill the system has wrung every last dollar that you have out of you. Judges for the most part sit there half asleep and bored and when forced to pay attention get very angry at the side responsible for waking them up. if you are looking for the judge to guide you through the system and keep the proceedings fair, forget it. They encourage the delays that help them get through their list of cases. Divorce is made nastier, because the lawyers want it that way and the judges allow it. most of the 8 years that this case took could have been done in 1 year, but the lawyers would not alow it because they were motivate solely by money and not what was good for either side or the children. All levels of the Canadian Government, as in most issues blames the other for the lack of will to change divorce law and so nothing gets done and all who entertain divorce suffer while the lawyers get rich and the judges get to nap.