Being Gay Is Not A Choice, But Homophobia Is


I do not think what  children are taught at home or in school will turn them into gay people, or that somehow being gay makes a person a freak of nature, or that gay people have a defective gene at birth that makes them gay, or that because they are attracted sexually to a person the same gender as themselves is  something that is transmitted from one person too another, like a cold that with early diagnosis and treatment can be cured. What I do know is that all types of prejudices are learned in the home, school and church from the time we are born and reinforced over and over as we grow into adulthood and homophobia is just one such thing.

My family has always been in show business and we were brought up around entertainers and were in the company of gay men and lesbians all the time and not one of us ended up gay. A lady we called Auntie and one of my mother’s best friends was a lesbian and ate and drank at our table and my sister did not turn out to be a lesbian. Of all the gay men I knew I was only assaulted by one and I did not know that he was a homosexual and a pedophile until after the assault.I say this because we have heterosexual pedophiles as well; pedophilia is not gender, or sexual preference specific, it is found in both genders and all sexual preference types. The children in my family were not brought up to see people as gay or straight they were all just people and friends, or people and not friends.

It was not until after high school that I began to notice that some of my childhood male friends were gay and only because they were acting effeminate and cross dressing. It was only looking back that I realized  that when we were forming singing groups that these guys liked being one of the Surpremes instead of the Temptations, but at the time we did not pay attention to any of that, we were just kids having fun and none of that seemed to matter. I had access to dolls and cars and guns and played with them all. My favorite toy was a teddy bear.  Toys do not make a child gay either. All these things like keeping your girl in ballet instead of hockey and your boy in baseball instead of ballet are ways that parents and society have devised to try and keep children in sports and activities that they feel represent a sound heterosexual choice that will keep the child on the right path for a heterosexual future and it does not work. It may suppress the childs natural ways and true feelings for a while, but on the whole this type of manipulation of the childs true self usually tends to confuse the child, or isolate the child, but eventually the child will return to who he or she really is, because they have no choice. A few fight it forever, but never find contentment, or find happiness and often end up depressed living a lie or commit suicide.  We know that the arts are neither straight, or gay; baseball is neither straight, or gay; they are just what they are and can be enjoyed by all genders and do not make a child gay, or straight.

A gay male friend of mine having too much to drink patted me on the behind one night at a party after coming out of the closet and deciding that his coming out afforded him some special privileges he did not have before, like being forward with his pals. I did not like it and told him so. He had never done anything like that before and I wondered why he was feeling he could do it now. We had showered together, played sports on the same teams and fought together against rival gangs and at the time of the pat I could only think about how many times we had been in the same shower naked and what was he thinking about then that he was afraid to say, or do because he was hiding the fact that he was gay. I knew that our friendship would never be the same and I selfishly wished that he had never decided to reveal himself as being gay to us, or his true feelings about how he felt about me with the pat.  We became distant after what I considered a violation of my trust, space and friendship. Our friendship suffered because of it and I never felt comfortable around him again and until the day he died we never had another drink together.

What I am trying to say is that  coming out of the closet does not make gays special, or give them the right to violate the space of others, and neither does this give heterosexuals the right to take liberties with them. If gay woman and men wish to be treated the same as everyone else than they must also take care not to offend, or be irresponsible in their behavior. Hitting on straight people who you know are heterosexual, becoming exhibitionists and parading naked down the street will do nothing to further your demands of equality. This is what the people who wish you to remain an oddity live for; an excuse to point and say I told you there is something wrong with these people.

We must give all rights and liberties to all people in all things in Canada and the rest of the world.  We do not have to agree with their sexual choices, or religious  beliefs, or what they wear to give them the rights that they are entitled to, because all they have to do to get them is be Canadian and be legal under the laws of Canada, not the church.  This is the reason for separation of church and state; that no one be persecuted for not being in the religion of the country and that all religions become equal under the law of Canada despite the number of its followers. Therefore the only test is, “Does their behavior and practices break any of the laws of Canada”.  It does not matter what religion our Prime Minister practices, or what his personal views on homosexuality are, or what the majority of Canadians believe at any given time.  c

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About archemdis

I try to say what is on my mind and not hurt others, but some things need to be said whether they hurt or not and I do just that. I try to listen as well as talk, but my opinion is just that mine. You need not take it as your own, just respect the fact that I am entitled to it, as you are yours. I do read all comments, but will only answer, or allow to be displayed those which adress me by name, refer to the post by name in the comment, or that have been sent through the proper channels. In this manner I can tell whether the comment was meant for me and that it is not just spam.
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